I am struggling at work today. A combination of zero motivation and holding a major grudge** has left me unfocused and rather unproductive. I have spent the last 2 hours trying desperately to stay on task and get things done, but all I can think about is getting out of here and heading home (only 30 more minutes!).
The funny thing is that when I get home, I will have to mediate the inevitable bickering between Bubbles and Animal (the fighting is at an all time high), help with homework, do the dishes, cook dinner, force Bubbles (and Animal if there is time) to take a shower, and who knows what else. I don’t really feel like doing any of those things either. I just got two new games for my DS, and all I REALLY want to do is curl up in my chair and play. But I am really looking forward to getting home and facing what lies ahead.
And the reason, as corny as it sounds, is LOVE. I know that Bear loves me with all his heart…despite all my flaws (read: inherent laziness). I know that Bubbles and Animal are just happy to have me around and would probably PREFER that I be lazy with them. I know that if I decided to go home and do nothing but play my games, or read a book, or watch TV or anything else really, Bear would come home and pick up the slack, and he wouldn’t even complain about it! He has this twisted idea that I DESERVE downtime, and he encourages my laziness on a regular basis!
I am feeling very unappreciated at work right now and, as of late, have found myself less interested in trying. I am sure that this feeling will pass given enough time (and sleep!). In the meantime, I am so very grateful to have the love of my family to see me through. No matter what happens at work, I know when I get home, I will be surrounded by three people who love me unconditionally and truly appreciate the things that I do for them.
*So who can guess where this comes from?
**I had one of the worst migraines I have had in a LONG time yesterday and when I told my boss I needed to go home she threw a fit and basically told me that I couldn’t because she had a project she wanted me to do. I finished the project 1 ½ before the time I usually leave, and she suggested that I leave then cause I “didn’t look so good”. I told her no thanks, I would just tough it out the rest of the day. I was NOT a happy girl!