Goodbye Old Friend

It's been a while. I have needed to write this post, but it has been very difficult to put into words. I needed some time...

So, Bear and I were very lucky to inherit the best dog you could ever imagine. Winston started his life with a different family. One of my friends adopted him when he was a puppy as a divorce gift to herself. He was a beloved pet and also provided a feeling of safety to a woman suddenly living alone. A few years later, she met and married her current husband and they started a family. When their second child was born, they discovered that among many other health issues, he was VERY allergic to dogs. They needed to find a new home for Winston and their other dog. I had always expressed love for Winston and regularly threatened to steal him away from them. One day, they asked me if I seriously wanted him.

We brought him home to meet our very old cat, Clovis, to make sure they could co-exist. Clovis didn't like him, but was willing enough to ignore him, and Winston was just thrilled to be there. So, we agreed to take him.

That was indeed a happy day for our family. He was a perfect fit. He was perfectly content to sleep his days away while we were away at work and school, completely secure in the fact that we would be home to spoil him soon. He loved to play catch with the kids and to wrestle with Bear. When we discovered that Clovis had advanced cancer and had to have him put down, he was a loving distraction for our grief. And when we decided to bring not one, but two young cats into the house, he handled it with class. When Banana decided that he made the perfect bed, his only reaction was a long suffering sigh. On his more energetic days, he loved to chase the cats down the hall, but he never made any real attempt the catch them, and they seemed to know it was just a game.

Winston was nowhere near a young dog when we got him, so we always knew that our time with him would not be terribly long. Right before we brought him to live with us, his previous owners found a fatty tumor right near his groin. The vet said it wasn't hurting anything and it should just be watched. Over the years, it grew to be quite large and started to cause problems for him. Large dogs often have hip problems as they get older, and the tumor was adding an extra weight in that area. By the time it started to cause serious problems, we were told that he was too old to operate on...that he wouldn't wake up from anesthesia.

Over the last few months, we noticed a fast decline. He was having serious trouble on the stairs, often having to stop and rest partway up and down and sometimes stumbling and falling several steps. He would stumble and fall when he was walking around. He would cry out in pain when he went to stand. Nights were the worst. He spent most evenings sitting on the couch whining from the pain.

As sad as it made us, it was time to intervene. We spent a wonderful week spoiling him as much as we could and spending a lot of quality time with him. Then we took him to the vet to be put down....

It has been over a week now, and it still hurts more than I can say. There are little reminders of him all over the house, and I often find myself waiting for him to come around the corner. In my mind, I know that we did the right thing, but in my heart, I just want my dog back now.

Winston: you were one of the best things that ever happened to this family. Thank you for everything you gave us. I hope that wherever you are there are plenty of cats to chase and that you are pain free with the energy to chase them all day. I love you so much!

Time Flies...

I can't believe Kimi has come and gone already. The time just flew by! I just hope we don't go another year before we see each other again!!

COME BACK KIMI!!!! I MISS YOU ALREADY!!!

She Really DOES Love Him

I worry sometimes about my kids relationship. They seem to fight SO MUCH! I know it is perfectly normal. My sister and I fought all the time, and we get along fine now. But I still worry. Do they fight more than other siblings? Am I doing anything to make it worse? Should I be doing something to make it better? Will they hate each other when they grow up?

Then one of them does something to show me how much they really do love each other.

Bubbles has a stuffed cow (Cowy...original, right?) that is her very favorite thing. It is her security item...her wooby. She doesn't like anyone to touch it. We have a game where I steal it when she isn't looking and hide it somewhere so she can find it. That is ok, but no one else can touch it...especially Animal!

Animal is sick today. Fever, horrible cough, lethargic. Miserable. When Bubbles heard that he was sick and staying home from school, she muttered something sympathetic and went about getting ready for school. As she was heading down the stairs, she wandered into our room where Animal was resting and placed her beloved cow on the bed next to him. She told him that Cowy would help him feel better today and he could keep it until she got home from school.

I know it seems like a small thing, but that right there? That's LOVE! And it made me so very proud.

What Are the Odds that This Day Will Get Better?

So, I was going to be late for work anyway because of traffic. There were two accidents on the highway between my house and my office. I sat on the on ramp for 25 minutes before I was able to get to the escape lane to get back off. I decided (or actually Bear did...he was in the car ahead of me on the ramp) that the back roads were a better idea.

As I sat at a red light, I picked up my Wawa coffee cup, took the first sip of that life giving liquid and then went to place it back in the cup holder. As I did so, the disposable cup disintegrated in my hand and spilled 20 ounces of VERY hot coffee onto my lap, my steering wheel and my center console. OUCH!!! I uttered several explicit words and then switched lanes to go back home.

I knew this was probably a sign that I should get back in bed and write the day off, but I am saving up my leave for when Kimi comes to visit (in 9 DAYS!!!) so I was going to have to brave the day. After my second shower of the day and a fresh outfit, I started a load of laundry with my coffee soaked clothes in it, scubbed the inside of my car as clean as possible and got on the road again.

I was an hour and a half late for work and things have continued to go wrong all morning....

Is it Friday yet???

WHA???

I doubt very seriously that I will write much about work here, but I have to get this out.

I am an accountant. Mostly, I do accounts receivable and collections, though I am branching into other areas as the years go by. I don’t like GOING to work and I have issues with some of the people I work with, but I do really enjoy the work that I do.

Anyway, yesterday something happened that REALLY upset me.

I was processing a deposit, when I came across a check with a letter attached. The letter was addressed to a specific person, but it was clear that this person had not seen the letter or check. I needed to know where to put the money...had she seen it, she would have written this information on the letter for me. So, I called her up, told her what I had and asked if she knew anything about it.

OCW (obnoxious co-worker): Yes, I know about that.

ME: Well, can you tell me where to apply the money?

OCW (yelling into the phone): IF ONE MORE PERSON GIVES ME SOMETHING TO DO! CAN I JUST COME OVER THERE AND PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE?

Now, I certainly know how it feels to be overwhelmed by work and how every person has their breaking point. I am taking a mini vacation in a couple weeks when my BFF Kimi comes to see me, and I have LOTS to get done before that happens. I have several deadlines that MUST be met if I want to take time off. But I have NEVER spoken to a co-worker (or to anyone) like that before!!

I told this story to Bear last night, and he was really angry. He said I should have hung up and called her boss right away. He said I should have reported her to HR. He said I should have filed an official complaint. He is probably right.

I didn’t do any of those things. I sat in shocked silence for a few seconds and then I unleashed my temper (which I usually guard closely at work) on her. I didn’t say anything CLOSE to what she said to me, but I made it abundantly clear that it would not be in her best interest to speak to me like that again.

After I talked to Bear last night, I felt better. I vented and was ready to move on.

Then I saw her in the hall this morning…I got really upset and had to walk away quickly. I am undoubtedly overreacting, but this just really got to me. Thank goodness this is not someone I have to interact with on a regular basis!

End Vent.

Crafting - The Next Generation

So I have been working diligently (and happily) on my craft project for Kimi. I am just under 1/2 way done with it.

Yesterday, I was working away when Bubbles came up and asked if she could help me. I suggested that instead of helping me, she might like to learn how to do it and work on a small project of her own. She tried it very briefly last night, but then she got distracted by watching Twilight (she is her momma's little vampire loving girl!).

This afternoon, after we got home from a lovely thrift store expedition, she decided to get back to it. After several fits and starts, most probably due to my less than stellar teaching skills, she has the hang of it, and she is having a blast. She has been hard at work all afternoon and is already 1/2 done! She has altered her design a couple times and I think her final product is going to be gorgeous.

I am very excited to get back to crafting, but I have to say watching my daughter learn and find joy from it as well is AWESOME!!!

Gettin' Crafty!

Before I had kids, crafts were a BIG part of my life. I always had several projects going and I spent a lot of time on them. I took projects in the car on long trips to keep my hands busy. I worked on them while I watched TV (couldn't stand sitting completely idle). I had friends that I would get together with for the express purpose of gossiping and working on our various projects.

Then I had Bubbles.

First, there wasn't enough time in the day for all the things she needed plus the housework that needed doing, so crafting was OUT. I kept telling myself that as soon as she was a little older and independant, there would be time for it. When she hit the toddler years, there was indeed more time, but there were also little fingers to worry about. It was like she had CRAFT RADAR! As soon as I picked up a project, she was there...grabbing at the little pieces...getting too close to sharp needles and scissors..."helping Mama". What once was a relaxing hobby became extremely stressful. So, ok...I will put it away for a little longer...til she is just a little older. Then Animal came along and the whole cycle started again!

By the time he was old enough that crafting could be enjoyable again, I had gotten completely out of the habit. I have tons of supplies and plans, but it had sunk so low on the priority list, that I didn't even think about it when I was considering my options on a quiet Sunday afternoon.

Then, Kimi started talking about crocheting on her blog. And she posted pictures of the beautiful work she has done. Then, she promised to make me a blanket with my favorite colors! Then, she sent me a picture of the work in progress. WOW is she talented!!

I told her that I would make her something and she seemed excited. So I started thinking about what I could make. And just like that, I caught the bug again.

I spent the rest of the afternoon at work devising plans in my head. Before I left the office for the day, I did a little internet research. As soon as I walked in the door I started designing (I often create my own designs/patterns).

Bear came home to find Bubbles working on homework, Animal running wild through the house, and me sitting in my recliner sketching. Dinner wasn't started, the dishes weren't done, the laundry wasn't going (in my defense, Bear had to stop on his way home to get detergent, so I couldn't do laundry!).

Now, Bear has been with me for a LONG time, and he knows how obsessed I can get with my crafts, so he didn't say a word. He ordered dinner from a little Italian place down the street and even helped me dig through my supplies to find the things I needed. When dinner came, he served mine up and brought it and a glass of wine to me.

I spent the entire evening working on Kimi's surprise, and it was AWESOME! I don't know how great the finished product will be, but it just felt right. My crafts are once again relaxing. The kids were around, but really, they just wanted to see what I made. They had to go to bed before it really started looking like anything, but Bubbles saw my progress this morning and said it was pretty.

I hope to finish this project in the next week or so (I am trying to be responsible and not let the house and kids fall completely by the wayside). I already have another project in mind (for Kimi again!) and I am hoping to make this a regular part of my life again.

Thanks Kimi, for reminding me to make time for things that make ME happy!